Hi, My name is mypetrock and I'm a recovering Catholic.
When I was small, I was lots of trouble in church. I had a hard time sitting still and was not a lot of fun to get dressed and to church. I'd play the Mommy-See-If-You-Can-Grab-My-Finger-As-I-Poke-Your-Palm game until Mommy didn't want to play any more and beyond. I'd try and go exploring under the pews - never a successful game and usually got a quick grab.
For a while my parents thought I'd behave better if we sat up closer to the front so that I could see the priest as he did his thing. And that worked for a while until one day after mass the priest pulled my mother aside.
"I hate to ask, but is there any way that your family could not sit in the front?"
"But father, why?"
"Well, when I raise my arms to make the blessing, I see these tiny hands poke out over the top the pew to make the blessing. Everything I'm doing I see these tiny hands doing. It's really hard to keep a straight face."
And so ended my clergical aspirations.
When I was going through the Confirmation process, I had serious doubts about the existence of God. At one point, my Religion teacher (it was a Catholic school) said "If you have these doubts, then maybe you don't want to get confirmed." Well that shut me up. My parents would have killed me if I decided that I didn't want to get confirmed. Besides, who wants to be the only kid in school not to get confirmed?
When I was in high school and my parents decided that we were old enough to drive ourselves to mass, my brother and I would skip. We'd drop in to grab a program, see who the celebrant was, and head to a local fast food joint to do homework and wait out the end of mass. It was a full-proof system, but at some point I decided that it was stupid. Honestly, if we are old enough to take ourselves to mass, aren't we old enough to decide not to go to mass? So I sat down with my parents and said "Look, for the last several weeks, C and I have been skipping mass and going to a local fast food chain. I don't want to lie to you, but I don't believe in God and so I don't get anything out of going to church." My parents thanked me for my honesty and proceeded to force us to go for the next several months.
Since I left for college I've been back to church a few times - mostly for Christmas, baptisms, weddings, or funerals. I don't have anything against the church. I think they do some great things (and some not so great things). I just don't believe. And sometimes it's awkward not to believe when all of the songs that I know are church songs and I need to come up with something to sing to my child.
The only thing that I do miss is the sense of community that you get at church.
For a while my parents thought I'd behave better if we sat up closer to the front so that I could see the priest as he did his thing. And that worked for a while until one day after mass the priest pulled my mother aside.
"I hate to ask, but is there any way that your family could not sit in the front?"
"But father, why?"
"Well, when I raise my arms to make the blessing, I see these tiny hands poke out over the top the pew to make the blessing. Everything I'm doing I see these tiny hands doing. It's really hard to keep a straight face."
And so ended my clergical aspirations.
When I was going through the Confirmation process, I had serious doubts about the existence of God. At one point, my Religion teacher (it was a Catholic school) said "If you have these doubts, then maybe you don't want to get confirmed." Well that shut me up. My parents would have killed me if I decided that I didn't want to get confirmed. Besides, who wants to be the only kid in school not to get confirmed?
When I was in high school and my parents decided that we were old enough to drive ourselves to mass, my brother and I would skip. We'd drop in to grab a program, see who the celebrant was, and head to a local fast food joint to do homework and wait out the end of mass. It was a full-proof system, but at some point I decided that it was stupid. Honestly, if we are old enough to take ourselves to mass, aren't we old enough to decide not to go to mass? So I sat down with my parents and said "Look, for the last several weeks, C and I have been skipping mass and going to a local fast food chain. I don't want to lie to you, but I don't believe in God and so I don't get anything out of going to church." My parents thanked me for my honesty and proceeded to force us to go for the next several months.
Since I left for college I've been back to church a few times - mostly for Christmas, baptisms, weddings, or funerals. I don't have anything against the church. I think they do some great things (and some not so great things). I just don't believe. And sometimes it's awkward not to believe when all of the songs that I know are church songs and I need to come up with something to sing to my child.
The only thing that I do miss is the sense of community that you get at church.
posted by mypetrock at 8:46 AM
3 Comments:
I am very much with you on the "sense of community" thing. The folks at our church have been unbelievably wonderful and supportive of us, even when we don't attend for months and don't give money for embarassingly long stretches.
The priests you describe (Fr. Don't Sit Up Front and Fr. Don't Doubt) sound like real asshats. I think I had a very sheltered youth as a liberal Protestant encouraged to sit up front and ask the hard questions.
You say you don't have anything against the church. Man, I would, if I were you.
I recently wrote a post on religion, too. I "get" what you and Sarahlynn mean re: sense of community, but I never really experienced that during my time in church - not community that I truly felt a part of, anyway.
That said, I feel like I do get a sense of community from my neighbors, who I really enjoy - the people I work with, who I fully respect - and my friends, who I truly love.
Sarahlynn - Father Don't Sit Up In Front was actually a nice guy who was having a hard time keeping a straight face when his every movement was being aped by a tiny person in the third row. This is a big joke in our family.
This is what I get for trying to be funny.
Jessica - I do get a sort of sense of community from my friends, but that is different than church. I get more of a feeling of the sense of community that I'm thinking about from large charities where everyone is there for the same reason.
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