Advice to other parents
The other night we had dinner with some friends of ours who are expecting. We were talking about where they were in their preparations. They were talking about how all of the books sounded so militant. I realized that most parents sound militant when you ask them about how they are raising their child. Every parent wants to believe that they are raising their child in the best way possible. The obvious conclusion parents unconsciously reach is that every other method of raising a child must in some way be inferior. If it wasn't, then someone is raising their child in a better way than you are. Hence many parents become strident advocates of their particular form of child rearing.
Personally my wife and I fall into the category of slightly "crunchy." The term crunchy comes from the sort of New Age hippee-ism that you would associate with granola. Your level of crunchiness is determined by how you birth, feed, diaper, clean, care for, clothe, and sleep with your child. For instance, we gave birth to Oliver in a hospital, but did not use pain medication. We kept him with us full-time instead of sending him to the nursery. We use cloth diapers, but use disposable wipes and will use disposables when travelling. Oliver is breastfed and we delayed introducing solids until he was almost six months old. However, my wife would not feel comfortable suckling someone else's child. We made most of our own baby food and will use organic yogurt and cheeses wherever practicable. We co-sleep with our child. We work and Oliver goes to day care four days a week. Oliver has never used a pacifier.
There are a lot of other areas where you can be crunchier than we are. There are things that I'd like to do better. And a lot of these areas demonstrate places where we had to make compromises to fit the needs of our family. But that's really the important thing. All parenting advice is a smorgasbord. It's out there for you to take a look at and see if it is palatable to you and your family. Take what works, what fits, and leave the rest there for someone else to use. Crunchy or smooth - as long as they grow up to hate you for something, you've done your job as a parent.
Personally my wife and I fall into the category of slightly "crunchy." The term crunchy comes from the sort of New Age hippee-ism that you would associate with granola. Your level of crunchiness is determined by how you birth, feed, diaper, clean, care for, clothe, and sleep with your child. For instance, we gave birth to Oliver in a hospital, but did not use pain medication. We kept him with us full-time instead of sending him to the nursery. We use cloth diapers, but use disposable wipes and will use disposables when travelling. Oliver is breastfed and we delayed introducing solids until he was almost six months old. However, my wife would not feel comfortable suckling someone else's child. We made most of our own baby food and will use organic yogurt and cheeses wherever practicable. We co-sleep with our child. We work and Oliver goes to day care four days a week. Oliver has never used a pacifier.
There are a lot of other areas where you can be crunchier than we are. There are things that I'd like to do better. And a lot of these areas demonstrate places where we had to make compromises to fit the needs of our family. But that's really the important thing. All parenting advice is a smorgasbord. It's out there for you to take a look at and see if it is palatable to you and your family. Take what works, what fits, and leave the rest there for someone else to use. Crunchy or smooth - as long as they grow up to hate you for something, you've done your job as a parent.
posted by mypetrock at 2:23 PM
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