Having trouble maintaining motivation

I've lost 25 going on 30 pounds so far. I feel lighter. I've moved from a borderline 38 waist to a solid 33 waist. I need to do some shopping as belts can only help so much. I am finding myself wearing less baggy clothing as I'm less ashamed of my body. But even with all of these good things in mind, I've been having a hard time maintaining the motivation to lose weight.

The cracks in my armor are beginning to show. Last week I went out with coworkers to a Chinese place for lunch. I didn't overeat, but I finished what I'd ordered. There went that day's allotment of points. This weekend I made a double batch of cornbread with Oliver. Cooked cornmeal is Core, but cornbread is not. I'd love to confess that the cornbread went largely untasted and remained so after my wife checked and found my error, but the cornbread is no longer around to testify. And it was tasty. This morning I woke up late, had to rush the kids out of the house, forgot to pack a lunch or eat breakfast, stopped at Hardees for a breakfast sandwich, and had a Reuben sandwich for lunch. Again, not horrific, but not Core. And did I mention tasty?

Compounding my retreats off the reservation, I also have been cutting back on my exercise routine. In part, it's been schedule, but a number of days the past week I've found myself running behind, driving to work, and then not making up the exercise in other ways. At this point I should be ramping up my routine in preparation for summer running, but it's not happening. And I'm finding myself lacking the motivation to push it.

This may be a case where I am getting myself in trouble because I'm relatively easy to satisfy. Losing 25 lbs brings with it a certain level of satisfaction. And complacency. But that isn't what I need. I need to set a goal for myself. Weight loss by itself is good, but I don't see it as being an end in and of itself.

25 lbs and counting

This morning I weighed myself in at 188 lbs. This makes more than 25 lbs in total weight loss since I started doing the Weight Watchers Core Plan in January. I'm solidly in a 34 waist and eying the 33s in the closet. I've also gotten a number of comments on the loss from my office mates, so I guess something is working.

I'm trying to temper my enthusiasm for the diet since I've seen significant weight loss on most diets that I've tried. Body for Life? Check. South Beach? Check. However on each of these diets, once I stopped monitoring myself, the weight jumped back on. But so far so good. I don't feel terribly deprived. It's hard to feel deprived when you can eat an apple or an orange whenever you feel hungry. Sure, I don't eat as much bread or pasta or beer as I might like, but I've tried that diet and it really didn't work.

The next step for me is going to be to start exercising. I have all the excuses in the world as to why I haven't been exercising, but even I know that they are just that - excuses. I'll feel better once I start. I know it. I just haven't.

Health and Well Being

You know it's a bad sign when you are in the doctor's office so often that the nurses feel like they should make small talk with you. The past couple of months we've called or visited the doctor's office on the order of once a week and sometimes more often than that. Xavier had a checkup at six months, but because of a scheduling foul up we had to reschedule Oliver's appointment for a couple of weeks later. Then Xavier got sick with some strain of RSV and we were in every couple of days to make sure that his breathing wasn't getting worse. Then Oliver gashed his forehead on the countertop while playing on the stairs (see, kids, you really can get hurt) which required stitches. Then Xavier started spiking highish (102+) fevers (related to teething?) which warranted a couple of followup visits. Then Oliver complained that it hurt to urinate resulting in another trip to the doctor. I just want to know if there is a bulk rate on copays for doctor visits.

In general, my wife's health and my health have been good - no serious illnesses or injuries. We're not getting enough sleep due to our teething toddler who does not like to be wet. Some of my sleep issues are self-inflicted though. For example, last night I was out playing Magic with friends until after 1:30. I know that if I make better choices that I will be able to get the sleep I need. It's just that the time after everyone goes to bed is the time when I can do the things that I want to do - i.e. play Magic, watch TV online, read, work ...

Making better choices is a broader topic in our house. We've been trying to cut out a lot of the processed food from our diets and move to more fruits and vegetables. I've been fairly good about being good, but I do have my weaknesses. As long as I can moderate my excesses, I should be able to take off some of the extra weight that's accumulated.

What I really need to do is to make better choices surrounding exercise. I'm loath to get on the treadmill when the kids are awake for fear that one or the other will try and play with the moving treadmill and lose a finger or something. With that in mind, early morning and late night are the only other options. Early morning generally loses out to more sleep and late night loses out to more fun pursuits like laundry, Magic, or TV. For a while I was watching my TV online while using the treadmill, but ABC.com has an annoying habit of asking you to click a button to see more show - difficult to do when running on the treadmill. NBC is better in that regard, so as soon as they have something worth watching I may find myself on their site killing two birds with one stone.