DH-BF 2: Anonymous, Everybody. Everybody, errr, Anonymous
For those tuning into the exchange, my response turned into something more than a comment:
Anonymous, I don't mind that you disagree with me or think I'm creepy. As a matter of fact, you probably know me well enough to not need to divine it from the fact that I play D&D. I'm actually far nerdier than I let on. I wear a shirt to work that says "Geek." My wife bought it for me. After all when it is as plain as the crooked nose on my face, why try and hide it. BTW, your ad hominem attacks seem well practiced. Did you perchance pick on the fat kids or the nerds in school? Just sign up for a blogger name so that you don't need to hide behind anonymous.
There were a couple of elements that I've responding to in your post. First, I'd like to call for a closer reading of my original post. It's a weak defense, but it's just a start. Then I would like to talk about extended breastfeeding. Next up for discussion is La Leche League (LLL) followed by my response to what I read of your critique of my parenting style. Finally I'd like to conclude with a discussion of the phrases mainstream media and social norms.
If you reread my post, you'll notice that I didn't note that he was five until it came time to set up the "punchline." If she had mentioned that the kid was five, I didn't hear it - too busy trying to get stuff done around the house. I might have even been painting figurines but probably not just then. And when the punchline came I was unhappy. They took an opportunity to show breastfeeding a non-infant as a good and healthy thing and flushed it down the toilet. I was unhappy because they did go to extremes. It sets up anyone who breastfeeds their child beyond some mystical cutoff is a "LLL crazy."
I'd like to hear your opinion on when this mystical cutoff for the cessation of breastfeeding is by the way. I'd hate to offend you if you are still a reader when/if we've passed it. Elements that you cite for the cutoff are proficiency with cutlery, the spoken word, and some level of gross motor system. Many of these elements are present as early as six months. Is a year too long? Two? Three? We already know that you think that five is too long. But the American Academy of Pediatrics, the American Academy of Family Physicians, and the World Health Organization disagree with you and agree with me. In total, they say that extended breastfeeding is nutritionally, immunologically, intellectually, and emotionally healthy for the child and to the mother as well. It sounds like a pretty complete package. Definitely a far cry from "retard(ing) the child's development as an independent and social being when it is face down in mommy's boobs."
La Leche League's mission is "To help mothers worldwide to breastfeed through mother-to-mother support, encouragement, information, and education and to promote a better understanding of breastfeeding as an important element in the healthy development of the baby and mother." My own personal experiences with the organization in all of the meetings that I've gone to is that it is a great source of information to aspiring breastfeeders, a good support group for those mothers who choose to breastfeed, and an excellent source of information on parenting styles. I understand that not every group is created equally. I've had friends tell me that they went to a meeting that was rather militant. As I said, that's not been my experience. If you, your friends, or your family has had a bad personal experience with La Leche League, I'm sorry to hear it. Perhaps the group that they went to didn't fit their style. There are others out there from which an aspiring breastfeeder can get support (in St. Louis, Kangaroo Kids is one such place). I'd urge anyone who is considering breastfeeding to get involved in one of these support group. After all they didn't leave the factory with an instruction manual. I've never felt that the group preyed on my "natural parenting style" but rather offered suggestions on how to do it more naturally. Some things we picked up. Others we left behind.
I've written that every parent is sensitive to critiques on their parenting style. We all want what is best for our child and for many that means that parenting becomes some sort of competition. Anonymous, I'm not trying to critique your parenting style. But I do read your post as containing critiques on mine. Let's see "parental overcompensation", the cow comment, "warehouse their kid at daycare", "crazies", "insecure", and "single-minded zealots". I almost don't know where to begin. I'll leave the crazies and insecurity and zealot. I do like how you are making me out to be some sort of breastfeeding terrorist though. Nice work.
Let's start with the cow. I'm glad that you express a certain level of support for the whole idea of breastfeeding. At least we have something in common. I'm glad that you are not grossed out by a flash of breast either. Bravo for you. But where does the cow thing start? From day one? After a year? From the definition of the process it would almost seem like in your words that any amount of breastfeeding is a display of parental overcompensation. After all from day one, the milk that the mother is producing is "even to this day is much better than what my child could get anywhere else." Certainly better than an actual cow, or a goat, or even another mother. And most definitely better than formula. The action of breastfeeding is in actuality a process of "milking" the mother. Mom, cow, I get it. But there we're overcompensating again. Damn it. We'll have to stop. But the thing is that we aren't actually overcompensating. We're doing the thing that all of those organizations that I cited earlier tell us is best for our child. Now let me go back to revisit part of what I didn't say earlier. All of this support is that as long as it is mutually desired by mother and child. But if mom wants it and baby wants it, it's a unquestionably good thing.
That leaves us with warehousing my kids at day care. To a certain extent, I'll agree with you. If it were a practical option for my family I would have quit my job and stayed home with Oliver. It was really only a practical option for me to quit my job since my wife makes a non-trivial amount of money more than I do. We could have rejiggered our finances, put off major home improvements, and made it practical for me to stay home. If I'm being totally honest with you, that would have been a disaster. I see how other people interact with their children. I just keep forgetting to talk to Oliver. One of our favorite games is where I play the Kissing Monster and I chased him around the house. Great fun, but I don't say many words other than "I'm coming to get you." When I drive Oliver to the warehouse, I don't sing and sometimes prefer to have a book on tape or NPR or the oldies station on. While I'm good at cooking and cleaning I'd be a disaster as a SAHD. I'm getting better about being self-motivated, but there is still a certain amount of prodding needed to get me to do anything. So we chose not to do that. And Oliver is not showing any ill effects from it. He's a happy, well-adjusted, confident toddler. Could he have been better at home with me? The world will never know.
All in all, I think we've done a good job. And you missed the chance to take swipes at early potty training, co-sleeping, and delayed introduction of solid food and cow's milk. Still I take some measure of offense at your critiques.
Finally I'd like to discuss the mainstream media and social norms. The mainstream media has little care for social norms. It cares about ratings and will do whatever it takes to get them. I offer as proof "Who Wants to Marry a Multi-Millionaire." On the other hand, the mainstream media is also willing to give you the same thing over and over again until the golden geese is dead and only bones remain. Witness CSI, CSI:Miami, CSI: New York, Law and Order, Law and Order: Criminal Intent, Law and Order: Special Victims Unit. Or it will tell you what you want to hear and not challenge you. Witness the kid gloves treatment of Bush after 9/11. Hell, our elected officials were even willing to let him wage war on a concept. But sometimes, the mainstream media can be effective at changing the level of debate. Witness The Morning After. It isn't too much to hope that someone would take a chance to add something to the debate.
I've never much cared for social norms. I'm a nerd and I always have been. My fraternity had girls in it. I played Magic: The Gathering, Dungeons and Dragons, and computer games. Once held a bag of frozen peas up to my nose after breaking it against a car so that I could play computer games. My last two cars were selected primarily because of fuel economy not performance. And so I shudder when Anonymous holds up social norms as a measuring stick of how well I'm doing. Upholding social norms isn't always a good thing. Racism, anti-Semitism, sexism, homophobia, and smoking were at one time also social norms.I don't think society is better off now that they aren't as prevalent. Minimalist breastfeeding is now a social norm. In the future it may not be. So if the general public isn't comfortable with the idea now, well, fuck 'em if they can't take a joke.
Anonymous, I don't mind that you disagree with me or think I'm creepy. As a matter of fact, you probably know me well enough to not need to divine it from the fact that I play D&D. I'm actually far nerdier than I let on. I wear a shirt to work that says "Geek." My wife bought it for me. After all when it is as plain as the crooked nose on my face, why try and hide it. BTW, your ad hominem attacks seem well practiced. Did you perchance pick on the fat kids or the nerds in school? Just sign up for a blogger name so that you don't need to hide behind anonymous.
There were a couple of elements that I've responding to in your post. First, I'd like to call for a closer reading of my original post. It's a weak defense, but it's just a start. Then I would like to talk about extended breastfeeding. Next up for discussion is La Leche League (LLL) followed by my response to what I read of your critique of my parenting style. Finally I'd like to conclude with a discussion of the phrases mainstream media and social norms.
If you reread my post, you'll notice that I didn't note that he was five until it came time to set up the "punchline." If she had mentioned that the kid was five, I didn't hear it - too busy trying to get stuff done around the house. I might have even been painting figurines but probably not just then. And when the punchline came I was unhappy. They took an opportunity to show breastfeeding a non-infant as a good and healthy thing and flushed it down the toilet. I was unhappy because they did go to extremes. It sets up anyone who breastfeeds their child beyond some mystical cutoff is a "LLL crazy."
I'd like to hear your opinion on when this mystical cutoff for the cessation of breastfeeding is by the way. I'd hate to offend you if you are still a reader when/if we've passed it. Elements that you cite for the cutoff are proficiency with cutlery, the spoken word, and some level of gross motor system. Many of these elements are present as early as six months. Is a year too long? Two? Three? We already know that you think that five is too long. But the American Academy of Pediatrics, the American Academy of Family Physicians, and the World Health Organization disagree with you and agree with me. In total, they say that extended breastfeeding is nutritionally, immunologically, intellectually, and emotionally healthy for the child and to the mother as well. It sounds like a pretty complete package. Definitely a far cry from "retard(ing) the child's development as an independent and social being when it is face down in mommy's boobs."
La Leche League's mission is "To help mothers worldwide to breastfeed through mother-to-mother support, encouragement, information, and education and to promote a better understanding of breastfeeding as an important element in the healthy development of the baby and mother." My own personal experiences with the organization in all of the meetings that I've gone to is that it is a great source of information to aspiring breastfeeders, a good support group for those mothers who choose to breastfeed, and an excellent source of information on parenting styles. I understand that not every group is created equally. I've had friends tell me that they went to a meeting that was rather militant. As I said, that's not been my experience. If you, your friends, or your family has had a bad personal experience with La Leche League, I'm sorry to hear it. Perhaps the group that they went to didn't fit their style. There are others out there from which an aspiring breastfeeder can get support (in St. Louis, Kangaroo Kids is one such place). I'd urge anyone who is considering breastfeeding to get involved in one of these support group. After all they didn't leave the factory with an instruction manual. I've never felt that the group preyed on my "natural parenting style" but rather offered suggestions on how to do it more naturally. Some things we picked up. Others we left behind.
I've written that every parent is sensitive to critiques on their parenting style. We all want what is best for our child and for many that means that parenting becomes some sort of competition. Anonymous, I'm not trying to critique your parenting style. But I do read your post as containing critiques on mine. Let's see "parental overcompensation", the cow comment, "warehouse their kid at daycare", "crazies", "insecure", and "single-minded zealots". I almost don't know where to begin. I'll leave the crazies and insecurity and zealot. I do like how you are making me out to be some sort of breastfeeding terrorist though. Nice work.
Let's start with the cow. I'm glad that you express a certain level of support for the whole idea of breastfeeding. At least we have something in common. I'm glad that you are not grossed out by a flash of breast either. Bravo for you. But where does the cow thing start? From day one? After a year? From the definition of the process it would almost seem like in your words that any amount of breastfeeding is a display of parental overcompensation. After all from day one, the milk that the mother is producing is "even to this day is much better than what my child could get anywhere else." Certainly better than an actual cow, or a goat, or even another mother. And most definitely better than formula. The action of breastfeeding is in actuality a process of "milking" the mother. Mom, cow, I get it. But there we're overcompensating again. Damn it. We'll have to stop. But the thing is that we aren't actually overcompensating. We're doing the thing that all of those organizations that I cited earlier tell us is best for our child. Now let me go back to revisit part of what I didn't say earlier. All of this support is that as long as it is mutually desired by mother and child. But if mom wants it and baby wants it, it's a unquestionably good thing.
That leaves us with warehousing my kids at day care. To a certain extent, I'll agree with you. If it were a practical option for my family I would have quit my job and stayed home with Oliver. It was really only a practical option for me to quit my job since my wife makes a non-trivial amount of money more than I do. We could have rejiggered our finances, put off major home improvements, and made it practical for me to stay home. If I'm being totally honest with you, that would have been a disaster. I see how other people interact with their children. I just keep forgetting to talk to Oliver. One of our favorite games is where I play the Kissing Monster and I chased him around the house. Great fun, but I don't say many words other than "I'm coming to get you." When I drive Oliver to the warehouse, I don't sing and sometimes prefer to have a book on tape or NPR or the oldies station on. While I'm good at cooking and cleaning I'd be a disaster as a SAHD. I'm getting better about being self-motivated, but there is still a certain amount of prodding needed to get me to do anything. So we chose not to do that. And Oliver is not showing any ill effects from it. He's a happy, well-adjusted, confident toddler. Could he have been better at home with me? The world will never know.
All in all, I think we've done a good job. And you missed the chance to take swipes at early potty training, co-sleeping, and delayed introduction of solid food and cow's milk. Still I take some measure of offense at your critiques.
Finally I'd like to discuss the mainstream media and social norms. The mainstream media has little care for social norms. It cares about ratings and will do whatever it takes to get them. I offer as proof "Who Wants to Marry a Multi-Millionaire." On the other hand, the mainstream media is also willing to give you the same thing over and over again until the golden geese is dead and only bones remain. Witness CSI, CSI:Miami, CSI: New York, Law and Order, Law and Order: Criminal Intent, Law and Order: Special Victims Unit. Or it will tell you what you want to hear and not challenge you. Witness the kid gloves treatment of Bush after 9/11. Hell, our elected officials were even willing to let him wage war on a concept. But sometimes, the mainstream media can be effective at changing the level of debate. Witness The Morning After. It isn't too much to hope that someone would take a chance to add something to the debate.
I've never much cared for social norms. I'm a nerd and I always have been. My fraternity had girls in it. I played Magic: The Gathering, Dungeons and Dragons, and computer games. Once held a bag of frozen peas up to my nose after breaking it against a car so that I could play computer games. My last two cars were selected primarily because of fuel economy not performance. And so I shudder when Anonymous holds up social norms as a measuring stick of how well I'm doing. Upholding social norms isn't always a good thing. Racism, anti-Semitism, sexism, homophobia, and smoking were at one time also social norms.I don't think society is better off now that they aren't as prevalent. Minimalist breastfeeding is now a social norm. In the future it may not be. So if the general public isn't comfortable with the idea now, well, fuck 'em if they can't take a joke.
posted by mypetrock at 11:54 PM
7 Comments:
Growing Moss:
I have read your blog, I have a pretty good idea about what a nerd you are. It is not exactly tough to discern from your postings. As for signing up for a blogger name, what is the point? I would be just as anonymous and it will be something that I will revel in while I continue to point out what a complete eunuch you are. Maybe I am someone from your circle of acquaintances (I would hesitate to say friends) or family that you have insulted by inferring that their parenting styles are not up to par with yours. Maybe I am one of your co-workers that has seen your blog and does not appreciate the high horse attitude while you waste time blogging at work, ripping the rest for everything from our personal choices to our work ethic. Of course, I could also be someone that stumbled across your site and decided that the “wisdom” which you dispense is worthy of derision. And, FYI, I would have considered myself a bit of a nerd in school, my practiced attacks come from a general disappointment in some of the people that consider themselves “Blue”-it gives the rest of us a bad name.
Don’t worry about offending my sensibilities as you continue to breastfeed your child past what might be considered acceptable by me. I have no doubt you will press the issue, just because you can and want to prove something, until your kid is begging for it to stop because his friends are making fun of him. After all, a bunch of LLL references say it is the best thing for him and you would not want to go against the League. God forbid you take a look around or talk to someone that is still embarrassed that their parents had them breastfeeding well beyond any of their peers or how that might explain why their mothers are overly clingy even as the child grows up. I guess that is not the kind of stuff that LLL will tell you about.
As for the League itself, check the website. There is little to no information about weaning and goes out of the way to tell parents how to discourage any discussion of the topic, as well as tells mothers how to keep a child breastfeeding even if it is trying to self-wean. You said it was a good thing as long as it was mutually desired but the League is trying to get mothers to continue when the child does not want to, but the mother does. That does not sound like a good and healthy situation.
I am glad that you have put the well-being of your child behind the all important home improvement effort. Once again, god forbid that you rejigger some finances or cut back on your search for the right home entertainment center to spend as much time with your child as possible. It would be hell to have to make some sacrifices.
As for your other suggestions for mocking, keep blogging about them and I’ll pop in when I feel like pointing out what an ass you are. But if it makes you happy, I will quick chime in on them:
Early potty training-you would keep your kid breastfeeding until forever, but you want him to hurry up and start crapping in the toilet? Seems like two very different paths there. Rely on mommy for food, but take care of your own mess.
Co-sleeping-I agree with your mom, but you will be the one that suffers when you finally (if you do) get around to introducing the crib and it takes forever for your kid to get used to being on his own.
Delayed introduction-I might be wrong (but I am not going to reread your blog-once was too much), but it did not seem like you waited to introduce food. Any you would not want your kid experiencing choice when it came to milk, would you?
Is someone that follows “The Amazing Race” or spends a great deal of time watching DVDs of television series, really in a place to criticize? You clearly are as much of a sucker for TV as anyone. You even contradict yourself by saying that mainstream media can change the level of the debate.
Minimalist breastfeeding is the social norm? Who calls today’s norm that? LLL? It would seem that ever stopping is minimalist for them. I think the general public is fine with breastfeeding as long as it is done in a way that does not make others uncomfortable. You say, “fuck ‘em if they can’t take a joke” (heady ending there, way to minimalize your cause by referring to it as a joke), but you probably are the same asshole that sneers at people that profess their religious faith fervently.
Well, I haven't read the original post because when it said spoilers, I skipped it and I still haven't watched the stupid episode :) But I read the comments. Anonymous, regardless of the strenght of your points, their weight drops to almost zero with everyone but their target when you make a personal attack behind an anonymous moniker. The prolonged breast feeding and the community bed are definitely not the way I was raised and not the way I've chosen to raise my son, but honestly our collective past seem to supports his point of view. Over the course of human history, separate beds and early weening are recent developments. It's an interesting discussion, but I'm not going to have it with you because you're clearly not mature enough to have an intelligent discussion.
Adam, (s)he's playing beautifully to your insecurities, let it go.
-Mike
Mike,
Thanks for your support. It means a lot to me that I can disagree with you and still get along. I owe you an RSVP.
Anonymous,
I’d like to thank you for reading. Some time in the next few weeks I’ll have passed 300 posts, 5000 views, and 6000 page views. Simple division would indicate that I have less than 20 regular readers. So I couldn’t do it without loyal readers like yourself.
In reading your post, I couldn’t tell if you disliked me personally or my ideas. The sheer volume of invective pointed my way suggests to me that you dislike me personally. If we’ve met and you dislike me personally, I guess there’s not much I can do about that. If we haven’t met and you dislike me personally, just wait until we do – I’m actually more personable not in person.
One geek to another – what flavor of geek were you? Band? Science? Math? Goth? Gamer? A/V? Computers? Smarty pants? Engineer? Newspaper? Collector? Unusual hobbyist? General social reject? Inquiring minds want to know.
If you feel that I’ve insulted your parenting style, I’d like to apologize. Unless, of course, you beat your child(ren) in which case you should be strung up from the toes over a molten pit of lava. Short of that, I’m sure that you are making the decisions that you and your spouse feel are in the best interests of raising your child(ren). We’re doing the same thing. Neither one of us is better than the other – we’re just different. If I disagree with the way you do things, it doesn’t make you wrong. I’m not trying to compete with you and no one is going to present either one of us with a Parent of the Year award.
I did check the LLL website and was able to find some information on weaning in three clicks. Technically I could have found it earlier but I skipped the Search bar at the bottom of the screen. There was some information there like you describe. I don’t have a problem with LLL presenting information about encouraging breastfeeding as there are many societal pressures that discourage women from doing it. And in the hands of the type of mother that you describe, I can imagine that it was twisted away from its original purpose. I empathize with the person that you describe, but less because of the extended breastfeeding and more for the mother in the same way that I empathize with the children of the hyper competitive Little League Dad or the Stage Mom. Any healthy activity becomes less so when it is over done. I’d say that you were setting up a Straw Mom, but apparently you aren’t. You are just picking the most extreme case available. We can discuss the point at which breastfeeding is over done, but that point should be the point that we have already discussed – when either mother or child does not wish to continue it. BTW - Minimalist breastfeeding isn’t actually a LLL term. I made it up on the spot. Do you think that I could get a trademark on it? I could almost retire.
My wife and I have made certain sacrifices for our family. If they don’t include one of us quitting our job and staying home, it doesn’t make them any less. It doesn’t mean that we don’t love our child. It doesn’t mean that we don’t want to stay home with him. It means that we’ve decided that staying home full-time with Oliver does not work for our family. I take offense to you casting scorn on our decision.
I actually don’t see a schism between extended breastfeeding and early potty training. Whether from the breast or the stove, Mommy (or Daddy) is still responsible for input. If we can shift some of the responsibility for output on to our child, it will only make him more independent. I’m not seeing the link.
One item that I’d like to inject into the discussion that we are having about extended breastfeeding is that there are more reasons to breastfeed than just for nutrition. Children breastfeed for a number of reasons including comfort and closeness. Beyond its nutritional value, breast milk contains valuable antibodies that help the child resist disease. Except in the oddest of circumstances, breast milk is not a primary food source.
At some point, Oliver will choose to sleep somewhere other than our bed. And when he decides to do that, we’ll support his decision. If he decides that he wants to rejoin us at some point, we’ll support that decision too. We’re prepared to take a little suffering if that’s what it takes. Co-sleeping is not a bad thing. It’s just different. And it works for us. In the mean time continuing to share our bed is one of the sacrifices that we have chosen to make.
Oliver didn’t start on solid foods until he was about seven months old. We’re very careful about what kinds of foods that he gets. He eats meat, vegetables, fruits, cheese, yogurt, and breads. We limit the amount of processed food that he eats. Most of his sugar intake comes from fruits and yogurt. I’m concerned about modeling a healthy diet for him so that he doesn’t have to fight the same problems that I do with his weight. We haven’t introduced cow’s milk, but not for any malevolent purpose, but more because it is difficult for the stomach to digest. We’ve talked about introducing it, but as yet we haven’t. Again, not bad, just different.
Again, I commend you on your support for breastfeeding. However, we seem to sharply diverge after that point. I don’t see anything wrong with making people uncomfortable with their prejudice. I don’t have a problem telling people that their racist jokes aren’t funny. I’d rather air disputes than let them fester. I try to be as honest and forthright as I can be. If that brings about conflict, so be it.
Have a nice day.
Adam, I agree with Mike about letting it go:
don't feed the trolls
If you don’t like Anonymous, call me True Crime SK. (You are the nerd, you figure it out.) Mike and k957, are your opinions more valid because you have registered for a blog name, even as vague as those? Sometime being anonymous is the only way to get someone true feelings out about an issue. Besides, this way I can keep either my working relationship, the peace in our circle, or, like you said, play on his insecurities and drive Moss here to think about what he puts in his blog before he spews it out on the Internet.
Sorry. Sweetie, but Moss hear isn’t going to stop feeding the trolls, he is right in all things. The upstanding, free-thinking, non-judgemental liberal surrounded by the forces of evil that would dare suggest that he is a sheep, blindly led to the left extreme in all things or that he might be so desperate to be iconoclastic that he adopts any position in the extreme just to tell himself and everyone else he is different. He has a blog so he can spread his opinions about all things. He is not about to let someone, even under the guise of anonymity, have the last word. This is someone that claims he blogs for other people, when it clearly a matter of seeing his own opinions and life in print. Don’t kid yourself, Moss, you are doing it to feed your own ego.
As for my flavor of geekiness? Why give up my cloud of anonymity? Let’s just say in my family the husband was a nerdy baseball player that married a nerdy dancer. Now he works full-time and has a supplementary job and she works part-time evenings on occasion. She gave up her job and stayed home when the kid(s) were born. We don’t get to see each other as much as we’d like, but we are happy because we are taking care of the kids while making sure that they get to see their parents. Home improvements and big purchases can wait until she goes back to work when the kids are in school. (By the way, have you found a group that will tell you what you want to hear about daycare the way you have about breastfeeding? I am sure there are some studies that say it is the best thing for kids to be taken care of by strangers-who you call creepy-rather than their parents. I mean, there are studies out there that say cigarettes are perfectly healthy.)
You insult everyone that does not parent exactly the way you do. From your practiced line about your son being “a happy, well adjusted toddler” every time you discuss your lone experience with raising a child to your recommendations that people do exactly as you have done. Sure, you give lip service to the ”smorgasbord” but it is clear that you look down on others that choose another way. In one of your very first discussion about parenting you slammed people that did not take as many classes as you did. “I can't imagine what the people who just did a Saturday Lamaze felt like after leaving their class. Not that they're wrong, just different. And comparatively unprepared?” (This from someone that forgot his birth plan and could not find the right entrance to the hospital. Those classes sure got you prepared. Next time pay attention when they tell you where the maternity entrance is.) Yes, you managed to say that they were not wrong, they just did not prepare as well as you did, Mr. What Entrance. That is how you justify to yourself that you are being open minded. “I am saying that others can do if differently, so I am not jerk,” but when you slam others for not being prepared or knowledgeable or not listening to the same experts as you have, you are close minded and a hypocrite.
You should do a few more clicks on the LLL website and then read the comments from this “support” group from the perspective of someone that is on the fence about breastfeeding but leaning towards weaning because it is necessary. Nine topics and not one that outright respects a mother’s decision to wean. Every suggestion is couched in the suggestion that the mother is not doing the best thing for her child, regardless of the circumstance. We have a friend that is a bus driver and she wanted to learn the best way to wean so she called LLL. After describing her situation, the MAN suggested that she find another job so she could at least pump. Forget that she was in the union and that her family’s medical benefits relied on her keeping that job. A truly sensitive organization.
I really hope the “minimalist breastfeeding” term does not become popular enough for you to buy a can of soda with. It suggests that anyone feeding less than what you deem acceptable is not a good parent. You should look into “breastfeeding nazis” instead. 231 Google entries and growing all the time thanks too LLL.
Again, it's just a shame you're such a coward. I'd enjoy discussing this "social mores vs. what's best for the kid" thing with someone capable of adult discourse, but that's clearly not you. I've met you a hundred times, you're confident that you've got all the answers, but that's merely because you're unable to allow them to be challenged. The only thing I can learn from you is bitterness and closed mindedness. *shrug*
A Blog is for someone to write about one's life and opinions. I don't believe that you truly know "mypetrock" or you would know that he does not force his opinion down his friends' (yes, he has quite a few of us) throats. I have two children and "mypetrock" has been around during my pregnancies and my children's lives. I weaned my children at 6 weeks and let my son "cry" himself to sleep at 6 months. He has never criticized the way I raise my children and I don't criticize the way he raises his. As a parent, I'm sure you are aware that every child is different and has their own needs. "Mypetrock" is entitled to his own opinion and his child is very happy and very well adjusted. So unless you are being forced at gunpoint to read "Growing Moss," I suggest reading something you enjoy.
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