Spreading the word
One of the odd things about parenting these days is that everyone has a style that they are trying to get you to buy into. Breastfeeding or formula feeding. Co-sleeping or crib sleeping. Rocking to sleep or crying it out. Cloth or disposables. Pacifier or not. In some ways it makes sense as new parents are more likely to listen to someone who is firm in their convictions however misguided rather than presenting a more reasonable yet equivocating front of "everything is just different kinds of good unless it is REALLY bad." After all most parents are of voting age and look at our White House.
One of the conversations that I had with my mother over this past weekend involved the fact that we still co-sleep. "When are you going to cut that crap out?" My response was basically that Oliver is a happy, confident toddler who is a pleasure to be around and about whom my wife and I get compliments on how well-behavbed he is. "And while I can't separate what is his personality from what we are doing, the fact that he is doing so well indicates to me that there is nothing wrong with how we are choosing to parent." There wasn't much to the discussion after that.
I'd love to claim some sort of moral high ground here with respect to being reasonable. But since I've already blown any chance of that out of the water, I figure I might as well spread my own version of the Gospel of Parenting. One of the way that I'm doing that is that I've invited a pair of couples who are expecting to join us at a La Leche League meeting.
I've heard mixed reviews about LLL. My brother calls the group "a bunch of breastfeeding Nazis." I've heard stories about how some groups are almost cult-like. But the group that we go to always starts with the idea: "We believe that every parent is the expert on raising his or her own children. We're here to present information. Treat it as a smorgasbord. Take what works for your family and leave the rest behind."
My motivations for inviting my friends to go are three-fold. First, LLL is an incredible wealth of knowledge and experience about breastfeeding. LLL is a good source for the latest research of breastfeeding as well as practical techniques for the feeding itself. The group does a good job reviewing the basics of positioning and latch for new mothers, too. Second, the group leaders are available for breastfeeding advice 24/7. One of my few contributions to the success that we've had was calling one of the leaders and putting the phone in my wife's hand. One of the leaders in our group is a professional lactatation consultant. Third, it is a really good support group for an activity that seems very natural but ends up being rather alien to first time mothers. Beyond the leader's support, it is nice to be able to go to a place every so often and know that the people there are either going through or have gone through the same thing you are going through. I see all of these benefits and I've never actually had to breastfeed Oliver.
The other things - co-sleeping, cloth, etc. - can wait until later. First things first.
One of the conversations that I had with my mother over this past weekend involved the fact that we still co-sleep. "When are you going to cut that crap out?" My response was basically that Oliver is a happy, confident toddler who is a pleasure to be around and about whom my wife and I get compliments on how well-behavbed he is. "And while I can't separate what is his personality from what we are doing, the fact that he is doing so well indicates to me that there is nothing wrong with how we are choosing to parent." There wasn't much to the discussion after that.
I'd love to claim some sort of moral high ground here with respect to being reasonable. But since I've already blown any chance of that out of the water, I figure I might as well spread my own version of the Gospel of Parenting. One of the way that I'm doing that is that I've invited a pair of couples who are expecting to join us at a La Leche League meeting.
I've heard mixed reviews about LLL. My brother calls the group "a bunch of breastfeeding Nazis." I've heard stories about how some groups are almost cult-like. But the group that we go to always starts with the idea: "We believe that every parent is the expert on raising his or her own children. We're here to present information. Treat it as a smorgasbord. Take what works for your family and leave the rest behind."
My motivations for inviting my friends to go are three-fold. First, LLL is an incredible wealth of knowledge and experience about breastfeeding. LLL is a good source for the latest research of breastfeeding as well as practical techniques for the feeding itself. The group does a good job reviewing the basics of positioning and latch for new mothers, too. Second, the group leaders are available for breastfeeding advice 24/7. One of my few contributions to the success that we've had was calling one of the leaders and putting the phone in my wife's hand. One of the leaders in our group is a professional lactatation consultant. Third, it is a really good support group for an activity that seems very natural but ends up being rather alien to first time mothers. Beyond the leader's support, it is nice to be able to go to a place every so often and know that the people there are either going through or have gone through the same thing you are going through. I see all of these benefits and I've never actually had to breastfeed Oliver.
The other things - co-sleeping, cloth, etc. - can wait until later. First things first.
posted by mypetrock at 3:19 PM
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