Million Dollar Baby: Some spoilers (Consider yourself warned)

A couple of months ago when this was in the theater, I asked a friend if she was going to see it. "Not on your life," she replied with The Big Frown. The theatrical release came and went but with the new baby I never made it to the theater. But me being me, I couldn't resist renting it when it came out on DVD. I found it to be a well-crafted movie.

The movie is really composed three acts. The first act sets establishes Frankie Dunn (Clint Eastwood), a professional trainer, would be willing to train a "girlie." The second part details the career of said girlie, Maggie Fitzgerald (Hillary Swank), a 31 year old woman from a white trash background, from the time she starts training with Frankie until her final fight. [SPOILER] The final part of the story deals with her paralyzation and eventual death via euthanasia. [/SPOILER]

Separated from its politics, the movie is close to a masterpiece. The actors do a wonderful job realizing their characters. Hillary Swank does a great job with Maggie, showing her determination and how her emotions slip out from the fissures in the tough persona she's adopted. Clint Eastwood's Frankie Dunn starts the picture as a decendent from his tough trainers in pulp like Heartbreak Ridge. By the end of the picture, his character has emerged as a more three dimensional character with real emotional conflict. Morgan Freeman plays Eddie Dupree, a former boxer and friend of Frankie, as an extension of Red from Shawshank Redemption. The script does a good job at letting these tough characters emerge from their stereotypes in a believable way.

But it is tough to look at a movie that contains such an explosive political element as just a movie. While the characterization of the mentally-challenged boxer can't have helped relations with the disabled community, Million Dollar Baby has drawn its ire for endorsing euthanasia. At one point, Maggie tells Frankie that she wants to die before she can't remember the crowds cheering her name. While I can see how disability advocates can look at this as a condemnation of a paralyzed person's life as being not worth living, I can also see how this character in this situation could respond to her circumstances by perferring a quick death to a long lingering one. I think that if the writer had given the impression that the events surrounding her downward spiral took a longer time that the audience might have been more sympathetic.

I support the concept of euthanasia. I haven't put together a living will yet (but at some point I'll have to get around to doing it). And I'm sure that part of it is that I don't want to live in a permanent vegetative state. I supported Terry Schiavo's husband in his quest to end his wife's life with dignity as he believed that was her wishes. The paralells are there between Maggie Fitzgerald and Terry Schiavo, except one had not lapsed into a coma just yet.

LLL Group 2: Part 2

So last night my wife and I went back to the University City La Leche League group. At the end of the meeting I came away literally ambivalent about going back. We'll probably keep going, but I really hope that is gets better.

On the plus side, it is SO close to our house. The people who attend are people that we could actually run into going to the store or walking in the Loop. My wife and I have a good group of friends - mostly friends from college and from work. But so far we don't have any good relationships with people that we've met through Oliver. That isn't to say that the people that we see at LLL spit at us as we come near, but we don't feel comfortable calling anyone up to see if they want to hang out. People who live near you are a little easier to arrange a play group with. And I've been told that eventually Oliver will want to hang out with other people than dear old Mom and Dad.

It is also always interesting to hear a different take on the same subject - in this case breastfeeding. People who had difficulties with latch always emphasize the importance of latch. People who have had breast infections talk about the importance of properly draining the breast. And each new take can teach you something. Last night, someone talked about how overuse of Lansinoh can lead to bloody nipples.

This is also a new group. They don't have a lot of traditions yet, so there is always the potential of being able to make suggestions that will impact how the group works for some time. That isn't to say that more established groups aren't willing to embrace new thoughts - it's just easier to teach a new dog new tricks.

On the minus side, this is a group that NEEDS to be taught some new tricks. The leaders are very well informed people who like to talk. When conversation hits a dead spot or the group itself doesn't have an answer, having someone who knows what to say can be a life saver. But there were a number of times when my wife was trying to interject something into the conversation and was cut off by one of the leaders. That kind of behavior does not engender a broad based discussion.

The notion of a broad-based discussion was under assault from the get-go. At the beginning of the meeting, one of the leaders did a mini-lecture that lasted about 15 minutes. After she finished, she attempted to start a discussion cold. When the discussion sputtered, she and the other leader played topic volleyball until one of the other mothers jumped in. The discussion really started to get going at that point, but the leaders kept chiming in, sometimes over the contributions of others. Finally, at the end one of the leaders opened up for questions, paused a second, and then said that the group could break into social talk. A mother who had a question piped up and her question was discussed for a few more minutes before breaking up into social talk. If the mother had not piped up as she did, I can see her going home not quite satisfied with the meeting.

One of the things that I like about the other LLL meeting that we go to is that they have a couple of spiels that they have down cold. Whenever a new face shows up at a meeting, they'll give a brief history of LLL - starting as a group of mothers who noticed that it was easier to feed child number two than child number one and wanting to share that experience with other mothers - and the philosophy of the group - every parent is an expert on your own child and you should take what works for your family from the information presented at the meeting. Whenever a new or expectant mother shows up, they'll review the basics of latch and positioning. So far the UCity group doesn't do either of these spiels which seems like a real injustice to the new faces.

Positioning and latch are the most important parts of the initial and ongoing breastfeeding relationship. You can almost literally not go over it too many times. It is the most important information that an expectant mother could receive. Even if she has previously breastfed, there are important things that can be forgotten about the first breastfeeding attempts that require reminding. For example, my wife would start each session with a good latch, but because she was not supporting her breast it would slip out of Oliver's mouth as gravity took hold. A quick reminder from our LLL leader was so helpful in reminding her to support her breast. Now that is not as important since Oliver can fight the effects of gravity for her.

The spiel on philosophy and history is an important part of why my wife and I continue to go to LLL meetings. When we had mentioned to a friend that we were planning to go, she wished us luck. Apparently her experience with the group was that they seemed kind of cult-like. My brother refers to LLL members as breastfeeding Nazis. But the spiel put some of our concerns to rest. The history is important in setting the context for the meeting. It should be a broad-based discussion among equals not a lecture from the expert. It allows the group to listen to contributions from everyone. "You are the expert on your own child" is important when people are talking about the family bed and you have a very nice crib that you plan on putting the baby into thank-you-very-much. "Take what works for your family" is very important when you are considering breastfeeding for maybe a year and there is a three-year old being breastfed in front of you.

One of the other negatives is that I felt like the leaders were pushing some of their own agenda. In the opening monologue, one of the leaders was talking about how babies born from unmedicated labors do best at initial breastfeeding and how babies should not be separated from the mother after birth unless there are some serious health concerns. I agree with all of her statements but I think that there had to be a better way to present the material. Any mother who was separated or planned a C-section (probably wouldn't be at the meeting, but that's neither here nor there) would feel that her choices were somehow bad. The other leader while casting about for something to talk about, talked about all of the great books in the lending library. While doing so she highlighted Dr. Sears, a noted author who endorses "attachment parenting," which she then went on about for a while. Attachment parenting is the style of parenting that my wife and I (attempt to) practice, but it isn't exactly mainstream. I don't mind the leader presenting it as an option, but a lecturing expert talking about it pushes the envelope of presentation a bit too far.

What I'd like to see the leaders work on is the format of their presentation. First, I'd like for them to start the meeting off with a question. A meeting on the stuff that comes with baby could start out with a question, "What is the most useful piece of equipment that you were given as a shower gift? What is the most useless piece?" Or a meeting on nutrition could begin "What was the hardest thing to change about your diet when you were pregnant and/or after you had the baby?" The opening question serves to introduce the topic and get everyone involved. After the opening question, you can monologue if that is necessary, but the group is already somewhat involved. During an open discussion, a leader should have starter questions and statements should the discussion flag. But if the discussion is going strong, the leader should take a back seat unless bad information is floating around or information has been requested.

I'd also like to see the leaders develop their version of the spiels. It doesn't have to be the smooth spiel that we hear at the other meeting, but I'd like to hear it at meetings especially these early ones. It helps to set the tone for future meetings. I'd really like to see them give the positioning and latch primer, since most new (or re-new) mothers could always use the reminder.

Like I said, I'm ambivalent about going back. There are a lot of pluses and a lot of minuses. I'm hoping that the group eventually overcomes its minuses. There isn't anything that can't be changed.

At least until they start spitting on us when we walk in the room.

A winter person in the depths of summer

I am a winter person at heart. Whenever anyone asks me, I always reply that I can always put on more clothes to get warm, but there comes a point where I can't take off any more clothes to get cool without being arrested. It probably doesn't help my perspective on summer when we don't have air conditioning in our house. Yes, I don't have air conditioning and I live in St. Louis (well, actually we do have a couple of window units). The first couple of summers that we lived in the house were mild enough that we really didn't need it. But this summer seems to have brought the heat (and the humidity) back with a vengence. The last couple of days have seen my family camped out in the bedroom with the window unit running.

But it's not that we haven't tried to get air conditioning. We had three groups come out to the house to give us bids for installing zoned air conditioning and replacing our boiler. Currently we are .5-3 in getting bids back. I don't know what it is, but people don't seem to want to take my money.

Harry Potter VI - a good read

I picked up the book Saturday afternoon while my wife was up at her sister's place celebrating a nephew's birthday. I started reading about 4:00 in the afternoon, read until 2:00, and finished it before noon the next day. I enjoyed the book. It is a good sequel to that last one in particular because Rowling trims 400 pages by not reintroducing us to the world. There were a couple of occasions when it would have been good to have reread the last couple of books to pick up small details (like I forgot what a NEWT was and what DA stands for). I like how Rowling plays fair with her audience, dropping hints early in the book that a smart reader can pick up on to guess what happens next. Rowling has built a complete world where things that happen early in the series come into play in later books and events in later books are foreshadowed in earlier novels.

My only complaint is that now I'm one of the few people I know to have finished the book and I can't talk about it with anybody.

London transit bombings

At last count 54 people died in the London transit bombings and many more were injured. Thousands were inconvenienced. But if you compare it to the Madrid or 9/11 attacks, you can see that it was not as effective. If you compare it to the typical day in Iraq, it was not as effective. In terms of a local perspective, it was about the same lethality of a snowstorm on St. Louis drivers. I think that one of the scariest parts of it is that it wasn't in fact all that deadly. It's not like the terrorists took out an obvious landmark like the Twin Towers or the Pentagon. The tube stops were not apparently significant other than that they were in the financial district. If they had picked a different city, it could really have been anyone who got caught in the blast. So it's not like you can learn something that'll keep you safe. At least with a snowstorm there is some warning.

The Littlest Gamer

Last night, my wife went up to Alton to see her mother. Since the family was going to go to the Alton Belle Casino for dinner (and Oliver is decidedly underage for a casino), Oliver and I went to gaming together. With the diaper bag, bottled breastmilk, toys, blankets, a rocking chair, and my suitcase full of gaming books, I looked like I was planning some sort of polar expedition as I rolled up to my friends' house. Having Oliver along made for an interesting evening. He is ordinarily a happy, smiling baby. But the combination of teething and a missed afternoon nap combined to make him cranky unless he was being held (and sometimes even cranky then). As holding a baby is not terribly conducive to being the DM, our group ended up playing "Pass the Baby" a lot. Thankfully our group has a number of willing hands to hold him, so no one person got too sore from hefting him. After numerous attempts to get him to sleep, he finally crashed out in my arms about 9:00. And once he was down, there wasn't much that was going to make him stir. At 10:00 we wrapped up our session and with some assistance I loaded back up the car.

It's times like those that make me flabbergasted that some people are able to do this by themselves. It's no wonder that they don't leave the house much.

Hockey's back...

There was a time when I would have greeted the news that the NHL was going to play again with some more enthusiasm. That enthusiasm died in February when the NHL and NHLPA failed to negotiate a labor agreement and shut down the league. I know that it is in the best interests of the league to negotiate a salary cap and that the players didn't think that it was in their best interests to accept one. I don't really care. I just know that unless the NHL doesn't also implement revenue sharing as part of its CBA then there will be a continued competitive imbalance between rich teams and poor teams. And for me, that is the most important thing.

One of the biggest strengths of the NFL (which everyone seems to be trying to copy), is that the maxim "Anyone can beat anyone on any given Sunday." While that means that many teams have a near .500 record at the end of the season, it also means that fans in 90% of the cities know that their team has a chance to qualify for the playoffs every year. Fans are much more involved since there is always hope.

If you contrast that with the NHL where most teams (16/30) qualify for the post season, several teams are eliminated by the halfway point because their talent is so far below that of the other teams at the top of the standings that they can't hope to win. Witness the utter despair of the Pittsburgh Penguins the last couple of seasons.

I'm glad that hockey is back for next season - don't get me wrong. I just hope that they addressed the REAL problems with this shutdown. Now let's drop that puck.

Star Wars!

On May 19, 2005, Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith was released. On July 9, 2005, I finally got to see it with my wife. My wife set up the whole thing from arranging for child care (Paul and Sarahlynn volunteered to watch Oliver while we went to see the movie) to picking out a theater and show time. Because of a delay in dropping our stuff off at my mother-in-law's yard sale, we ended up going to a 7:05 show instead of an earlier show as planned. We thought the theater would be empty because it was alsomst two months since Star Wars had been released. But the theater was suprisingly full.

On to the movie itself. I could have told you the net result of the story before it began - Anakin turns to the Dark side, hunts down the Jedis, loses a duel to Obi-Wan, and becomes Darth Vader while the Republic becomes the Empire and Padme gives birth to Luke and Leia. The question becomes Does Lucas tell the story in a satisfying way? The answer is a resounding Yes.

Spoilers follow... But really it has been months...

The visual aspect of the film is absolutely stunning. From the opening rescue sequence to the climactic fight on the lava world, Lucas knows how to create interesting and visually engaging worlds. But everyone knows that Star Wars has always produced outstanding eye-candy. That it has been elevated to another level is to be somewhat expected.

The story is tightly plotted. Each scene ties into the story immediately and later on. For example, since Obi-Wan is out tracking down General Greevous, he isn't there when the slaughter of the Jedi happens on Coruscant. The story also contains several scenes that shocked me. In one scene, Anakin gets to the Jedi Council Room and finds the younglings hiding there. As they ask for his protection, he ignites his lightsaber. The story hit all of the plot points that it had to and I was satisfied with how Lucas got from Episode II to Episode IV.

Lucas has never been known for his dialog so it doesn't come as any surprise that there are some clunkers. Witness the awkward declarations of love between Anakin and Padme. Listen to the "subtle" seduction of Anakin by the Chancellor. As tightly written as the story is, you just wish that he'd hand over the story to an accomplished screenwriter to clean up his dialog.

Similarly I wish that Lucas would let someone else handle his actors. Hayden Christiansen does a good job with Anakin and Yoda was done well. Ian McDamarid does a good job portraying the two faces of the Chancellor. But the other actors come across as flat. It is not great surprise that Empire still ranks at the highest of the Star Wars movies and that is the only one that Lucas did not direct.

So my final Star Wars ranking is
1) Episode V: Empire Strikes Back
2) Episode IV: A New Hope
3) Episode III: Revenge of the Sith
4) Episode II: Attack of the Clones
5) Episode VI: Return of the Jedi
6) Episode I: The Phantom Menace

Yard sale

Our neighborhood had a "neighborhood-wide" yard sale on Saturday. I'd been saying for the last month or so that I wanted to have a garage sale, so the timing couldn't have been better. The first step was to collect all of the stuff that we wanted to sell. I went through all of our books and culled out the ones that we were unlikely to ever want to read again. A lot of them ended up being books that we had had to buy for college classes. I think that St. Augustine was a great thinker, but I can't imagine deciding to read his Confessions as a pleasure read. Wittgenstein, Wollstonecraft, Plato, Aristotle all went the same way. I gathered up baskets and vases, toys and games, computer parts and unused furniture. It ended up being not as much stuff as I thought it would be, but enough stuff regardless.

Saturday morning dawned clear and cool. My wife and I trundled all of our stuff out onto the porch. I arranged it all and priced it. $.50 for books, a $1.00 for this, $5.00 for that. Our next door neighbors busily arranged their treasures as well. The people on the corner filled their yard. But beyond them the block was strangely quiet. I guess it was either that people didn't have that much to peddle, the event was not as widely publicized as it could have been, or both.

Paul and Sarahlynn dropped off Ellie for us to watch during the yard sale. They had a braiding class to attend. Ellie and Oliver played on a blanket under the tree in the front yard while my wife and I manned the yard sale. It was fun to see them playing together.

From time to time, my wife or I would wander off to check out the other yard sales. We ended up buying some Lincoln logs from the corner and a fondue pot from next door. We missed out on a dog costume for Oliver. I'm sure he'll thank us later.

The yard sale ended up being a mild success. We brought in more money than we spent (on yard sales, anyway). We got rid of a glass top coffee table that would never have seen the light of day with toddlers invading. We got rid of a bunch of books that we weren't going to read anyway. I didn't get rid of the bar, despite the interest of a group of co-eds. And everything we didn't sell went up to my mother-in-law's yard sale to be sold or disposed of. Mission accomplished.

Busy week

This has turned out to be a busy couple of days. This weekend we got together and hung out with family and friends on Saturday, Sunday, and Monday. We just kept on packing up to go somewhere else. Not unusual for a holiday weekend, but I'm pretty sure that we could have been (and my wife would have preferred if we were) much more productive. By the end of Monday night I was ready for a nice relaxing week at work.

Oliver was somewhat out of sorts by Monday night as well. Instead of going to the fireworks with my wife, I volunteered to hang out at Sarahlynn's place and play Settlers of Catan with Sarahlynn, Andi, and some friends. Oliver woke up hungry and decided to add his own "fireworks" to our evening. I tried to settle him back down, but I had no way to feed him. Of course all was better by the time Mommy got back from the real fireworks.

Tuesday, my wife didn't have to go to work and had planned on taking Oliver up to see her mother. Oliver took a unusually long (2-3 hour) nap. That should have given us a warning sign of what was to come. Then my wife realized that she had left her keys in my car. And that the cats were playing with a mouse which had gotten into the house. So she called and I came home from work early. After I arrived, she took off for her mother's place. I caught the mouse and cleaned the downstairs. When she got home, she told me that Oliver was sick. So Wednesday she worked from home and watched him. After napping for another long stretch, he decided to be awake for a good while last night.

Evidently there is some sort of fever virus going around. I have no idea where he got it, but I have my suspicions that seeing all of those people this weekend didn't help.

Supreme Court Opening

Honestly, I felt like I got hit with a baseball bat when I heard that Sandra Day O'Connor was retiring from the Supreme Court. It wasn't so much that I'm particularly attached to her in particular. It was more than I'm aghast that the idiot in the White House definitely gets to pick a Supreme Court justice with the possibility of more. All of the powers that be are talking about having a civil confirmation process. And I'm sure that'll last until Dubya dubs a young ultra-right wing religious zealot as his choice to succeed the moderate justice. Then there'll be a throwdown. The chance of the "victory" over Dubya's last set of appellate court nominees holding up this time if the Democrats attempt a filibuster are slim and none. It was nice knowing you Roe. Good to have made your acquaintance, Separation of Church and State.

On the other hand maybe it'll energize the left. After all something's gotta work.